If you’ve worked with the same company for several years, you’ve probably built many friendships. Some of your coworkers might be close friends, while others are individuals with whom you might share a weekend story on Monday morning. A friendship at work can become a powerful networking tool or a toxic relationship. What works best when you are in a leadership position?

“In general, casual — not close — friendships are preferable in business. Casual ones are safest, but carefully managed close or best ones will also help,” says Dr. Jan Yager, author of Business Protocol. In her survey of 126 human resource managers, 37 percent said they got their current job through someone they knew, and 25 percent said they got their job through a close friend or family member. So close or distant friendships can be a real advantage.

How Do You Make Friendships Work at Work?

To maintain dignity and respect in your leadership position, you need to follow a few important tips.

1. Set Parameters with Close Friends

Sit down and talk with your friend about how you will work together. Make it clear that you do not intend to extend special favors. Also make it clear that your close friend should refer to you the same way other employees do while you are at work. Let your friend know that when you are away from work, you prefer not to discuss work situations involving him.

2. Be Careful Whom You Trust

It is very important to take your time building friendships at work. Watch and see which individual seems to be the person that other employees confide in and who seems to click with whom. It takes time to build trust, so don’t start confiding top secrets to a new person right away. Share small, insignificant confidences at first to test the waters.

3. Be Fair to All Your Subordinates

Don’t totally deprive your friend of promotions just because of your friendship. If your friend is the most qualified, give him the big project. If your friend is equally qualified with others in the group, alternate who gets the big project. Do yourself a favor: If you think you will be biased, ask someone else to make the final decision for you.

4. Manage Your Own Credibility

If it is known in your organization that you are close friends with a particular coworker, you may be overlooked for additional promotions, because it could be feared that you would divulge confidences to your friend. Be careful not to let your close friendships show at work.

5. Build New Friendships Outside of the Company

You don’t have to disown your friends at work, but it is a good idea to develop other friendships outside the company. When you need a person to be a sounding board or to fine-tune your own style, it is better to confide in a friend who is not personally interested in the company.

Source:www.monster.com

DO give yourself some visual breaks.
You probably spend as much time in your cubicle as you do in your bedroom, so it makes sense to personalize your space. In fact, decorating your cubicle in a way that mirrors your own style will make it easier to put in the hours in the office. Bring in a couple of items from home to make your cube feel more like home. Good items to start with include pictures of family or friends, a favorite coffee mug or paper weight, or inspirational quotes to hang on your bulletin board.

DON’T display inappropriate pictures or messages.
While it is acceptable in most offices to show off pictures of loved ones, you still need to think carefully about what images you display. Raunchy photos of your bachelor or bachelorette party are best left at home, as are any intimate or revealing photos. And leave the Chippendales and Hooters calendars at home.

DO bring a bit of nature inside.
One of the best ways to get started in your cube decor is by buying a plant that does well inside. Having greenery around is actually good for your health, as they soak up pollutants and give off oxygen. Don’t choose a plant that is high maintenance; consider a small ivy or a petite bamboo plant.

DON’T forget about lighting.
Adding some extra lighting in your cube can brighten your day. There are lots of affordable choices ranging from professional to fun and funky desk lamps and clip-on styles. Consider using full-spectrum light bulbs to bring in a feeling of natural light that is easy on the eyes.

DO consider your company’s standards.
If you work for a conservative company, you will probably have less leeway in how you can decorate your space than those in creative industries. While your own personality may be different than the company’s, you need to follow the company’s lead when it comes to decorating. Take cues from your manager and other senior executives. If their cube decor is kept to a minimum, it is probably best to leave your oversized sombrero from your last birthday bash at home.

DON’T let your cube become a pig sty.
Sure, you might be a complete slob at home and have the organizational skills of a newborn, but that is no excuse for letting your office space be a disaster. Remember that you are a professional, and that your privacy in a cubicle is limited. That means that any senior executive from your company could pop into your cubicle at any time. Make sure that you are always prepared for surprise visitors by keeping your space tidy. Look for desk-top accessories and small containers in all types of materials from colorful plastics or metal to wire mesh, wood or bamboo from an office supply store like Staples, The Container Store or Target.

DO have a little fun.
There are numerous gadgets and props to make working in a cubicle more enjoyable. CubicleDecor.com makes faux windows especially for cubicles. Called Cubicle ViewTM, these “windows” can be personalized with different scenic pictures. So now you can be in your cubicle and gaze at the ocean or another pleasant scene. Other companies, like Sharper Image and Brookstone, make fun gadgets that can be used to decorate your cube and help you pass the time while you are hard at work.

Source: www.careerbuilder.com

Ever gone into a room and while the meeting is going on you find people checking Blackberrys. And then when you are talking, the ringer goes off. They apologize but the damage is already done.

Here are some common ethics of using Blackberry:

1. Just because you have one, doesn’t mean you have to check in every 30 secs. You can put it down when in meetings, family dinners or even when you are exercising. Don’t sleep stuck to it.

2. When in conversation, don’t look away and start typing at your Blackberry. The person in front of you is simply ignored by this behavior. You need to excuse yourself politely if something important comes up.

3. With the voice recording, FB app and Twitter, you can be overwhelmed by constantly trying to use this. Put time aside and do all your social media management…or prioritize what you want to do. It is distracting and this distraction spills into your life.

Ron Heifetz, a Harvard professor says that it is not change itself that disturbs people; it is the loss that accompanies change. With change, stability is lost; relationship to one’s perceived reality and identity can disappear. Who you are now is different than who you were just moments ago. You can’t not be affected by what you invite into your reality. That can sound pretty daunting, but is actually just part and parcel to being human!

As you embark on the possibility of considering that maybe you could create what you say you want, you face fashioning a world that doesn’t yet exist. There is madness to being in this world, facing reality every day, to find only that what you had once perceived as real wasn’t real at all. You made it up to support and validate tribal truths—your family, your company’s or community’s beliefs—those that they made up, too. Trying to stay within the confines of a reality that no longer exists for you is impossible, just as it would be madness to try to remain enthralled with a magician’s magic once you know how the trick is done. Change happens to us and change happens because we choose to change.

In Vancouver, Canada this week, I sat with a group of women – all successful financial consultants, who are doing their best to make a living for themselves and their families. My associate, Magi, and I were invited in by their Director of Training, Harry, to see what was missing in the company that if it were present would create more empowerment for these women. As wise as Harry is and as much as he “gets” these women, I’m not sure he is fully prepared for what is transpiring as a result of this meeting.

What Harry wanted, I believe, was to give these women an opportunity to be more effective in their career, make more money and have more fun doing it. What showed up in the room of seven participants and two facilitators was far more engaging. What showed up was deep disappointment and discontent in the fact that there are no women managers or directors in this company – there never have been, and from the perspective of these women, there never will be. These women expected to get another “talk” on how to be better consultants. Neither Harry nor these women were ready for the change that may be coming their way.

The dialog emerged from three questions: 1) What is the quality of the experience of having what you say you want? 2) What would you need to shift in order to have that happen? And, 3) what are you willing to practice in order to facilitate the shift and generate what you are wanting? Each question is oriented toward empowering each woman to identify her truth as well as her willingness to fully step into generating her results.

From the first question, each woman felt into the qualities of peace and fulfillment, the confidence and competence, the lightness and fun of having what they say they want. Hearing question two, they became reticent to answer and fell into an anxious silence. There was a mix of “what am I responsible for in my profession” and “what is the company responsible for in providing what I need? This is where the conversation got juicy. Where most conversations can go to blaming or shaming – it’s the company’s responsibility or it’s my responsibility; as transformational coaches we view it as a both, and. It’s the relationship between the company and the women and both are responsible to that relationship. Both are accountable for the evolution of the relationship to its fullest potentiality.

In the current paradigm where the quality of the experience is of being disempowered, and disenfranchised, these women feel powerless and hopeless to make a change within this organization. What these women are living with is a dilemma. On the one hand they are showered with praise because of the successful relationships they build with their clients. On the other hand they are treated as second rate citizens not good enough for cultivating successful relationships as managers and directors. What’s up with that?

As facilitators of this conversation, our job was to cultivate awareness around how we be in relation to our circumstances, that have them be how they be. How are these women unknowingly participating in their own self-deprecation and belittlement? What beliefs and interpretations do they carry that activate submission of their own personal power? In what ways are they seeking approval from others, when it may be most effective to seek approval from themselves? In other words, in what ways could they be disempowering themselves and having it look like that disempowerment is coming from others? Again, this isn’t a conscious process, but one that has evolved over hundreds, if not thousands of years. By shifting the conversation from one based on discrimination and marginalization to one based on something far more foundational to our human processes we can discover incredible potential in just being and being present to the dialog within the company.

Harry, being essentially the only male director who “gets” these women has thrown his hat into an arena that will potentially shift the dynamics and the way this company relates to women and to gender issues. He has a lot at stake now – to continue to follow through with these women and their development, and also to potentially facilitate this transition to equanimity and balanced distribution of power for both men and women.

When there’s something at stake there is a potential for change and for loss, as Ron Heifetz claims. This company is on the verge of a loss of innocence because of these seven women who are willing to embark on shifting their own current paradigm of themselves and their company. This is an essential and critical moment in the life of these women and this company, without which they will continue to struggle and settle for less than full fulfillment of their potential. We are saddened when a rose wilts before it expands into its full bloom. So be it with anything less than the full flourishing of every one of these women, with their company, and with every individual on this planet.

In the business world, this word has no meaning. But it is KEY for any increase in profit margins, shareholder value and/or stock price. People who are leaders understand this. But then again, you still run into people who think people will do their BEST if you given them more money or commissions. Mostly, this turns people off. They scorn a manager or a leader who treats them more like a “money-making” machine than “human”.

When people are inspired they work from their heart and give it their BEST. In essence, they are in action just for the JOY in the task and NOT for the bottom line. The positive outcome is that this kind of work adds value in the marketplace and hence if it takes off can demand a premium – in essence, it will beat competition and drive sales.

So, the question what gets people engaged and inspired:

1. Respect: Many entrepreneurs are able to build teams and bring in experts in the early stages only because they respect their people. They might not be able to pay them but they are able to acknowledge experts for their core strengths and give them the autonomy to work. This is truly inspirational. It is humbling to be recognized as an expert and it drives you to be accountable as people are looking up to you. The respect you get makes you want to work harder and try not to let them down. Can you buy this kind of emotion? Absolutely NO.

2. CARE: When you are cared for YOU can FEEL it. When your leaders are accessible you sense their concern for your tasks. When the leaders are committed to making things work you can sense security in making a paycheck. When you see people keep up their commitments, you can trust them to get the job done. Care is the cornerstone of what inspires people to work together.

3. Vision: When you believe in something, people around you who believe in it will be inspired by your vision and commitment. Your unwavering belief will drive them to continue without getting attached to the outcome. You will inspire them to stay focused.

And it is still surprising that businesses don’t use INSPIRATION as a metrics for engagement and incremental profit margins. You readers are smarter because if you did not understand this you would not be reading this. Stay inspired.